What is your guiding light?

All we can do in this life is keep moving forward. A limitation of movement in the physical world can be a mere manifestation of a stagnation in spirit or emotional well being. This includes illness. Soul worry is unprocessed events, emotions and thoughts. We are in a world of sick people avoiding things in their life that ends up causing so much more pain than just dealing with it. I have come to understand that what we hold on to is what makes the illness in the body and mind, not what we let go of.

Change

There alsmost always comes a time when you call bullshit on yourself. A point in which you have to say enough is enough and though I may be a little behind at least I am hitting that point. I have made a list of things that without a doubt I need to work on and it is as follows....

Things that NEED to change!

• defeatist attitude
• being overly reactive
• being overly emotional
• making excuses
• trying to please everyone at my own cost
• caring too much about what others think
• not giving it my best ALWAYS!
• negative self talk
• negative self image
• giving up easily
• not pushing myself (until it hurts)
• imaginary crutches
• imaginary walls to goals
• not reaching goals
• due to excuses
• due to laziness
• due to being all Karinery

I know I have flaws and accept them and myself for what I am. However, I am no longer using any of that as excuses to not succeed. Just because something doesn't go right the first time doesn't mean that is the end of the journey. Get up, get moving, make changes. Not in a minute, not when it is convenient, NOW!!

Sleep study

Finally an answer is near. Tonight is the sleep study. Perhap an end to my hypnopompic hallucinations. Stay tuned for details...

Me time

Girls gotta have me time. Sometimes bath seem to wash away the worries. Especially when you have a bath guardian.

Soooo tired

7am bath to get me back to sleep. Lazy? Or needed?

The power of DON'T and CAN'T

It's amazing the power of one word. It can sooth us with someone telling us don't worry, we can do this. And it can completely warp your mind and do the exact opposite of its intent. Example: for the next 5 minutes don't scratch your skin. Do you instantly feel an itch forming somewhere on your body? Just writing this my head and elbow started itching. My recent run ins with don't have been in two areas. I am on a new path towards health and fitness. I have to remind myself that I shouldn't eat naughty foods or too much. I only crave chocolate and donuts when I know I shouldn't be eating them. "Don't even look at that chocolate bar." It seems like every time I try to start a new workout routine my body pulls a "don't". I get one or two workouts in and then I get some sort of plague and then backpain and something pulled.

Back to the grind

I feel like having taken summer courses was a good thing.  Sometimes Fall quarter is the worse because it feels so foreign. I had a month off and it was just enough time to feel like I could have got things done but not so long as to make me wish it ended sooner.  I know silly thought right, wanting break to be over.  I am finally through the icky science course and am finally getting to do some real courses in nutrition. EXCITING!! School is busy and it's a lot of new faces with sprinkles of familiar ones.  I am ready to jump in and be successful. So much so I added another class last minute. One class a day most days is a pain to commute for but the classes seem well worth it. I am only two classes and two days in so the opinion next week could be vastly different.

Here's to hoping I am successful.

PS- hi Anita...I know you're my only reader.